On A Tuesday…

Posted on 2012 February 13 Monday


She became The Wife

Tuesdays are strangely special in my world. I blame it on The Wife. How she became The Wife depends on which one of us you ask, but my version is (of course) very accurate. I was in my later 30’s and living with my mother. Don’t judge me. It’s just a starting place for the story. It was 4th of July  and the family was going to gather at my sister Kristen’s house for holiday festivities. My mother warned me that a single friend of my sister’s from nursing school, Michella, was going to be there. Being newly single myself, I assured Mom that was no problem. I was not looking, had no intention of looking, and was not going to look. True to my word, I didn’t. However, with a family as large as mine, and being the nice guy that I am, and seeing that she was the only non-family member there, when it came time for the fireworks (the display, not our relationship) I did happen to be sitting near her and courtesy dictated that I make small talk. We all oooo’d and ahhhhh’d at the appropriate junctures, commented on the display and then all went to our homes.

A few weeks later, my sister decided to organize a family float trip. Now, I enjoy the river as much as anyone and said I would go as well. When we all arrived at the float place, low and behold, my sister’s friend from nursing school was invited, too. Everyone in my family wanted to float in a raft. I much prefer canoes. So, they all got rafts and I got a canoe. For myself. Alone. Everyone started loading the rafts they had rented and I loaded my canoe. Just before we stared off on our 3 hour tour, my sister’s friend decided that she would rather go in a canoe. I had the only canoe. So that meant instead of the canoe, by myself, as I intended, I now had a passenger (she says it was because she didn’t realize that you had to sit on the side of the rafts, that there was no other reason she got in my canoe, but let the jury know that She got in My canoe). Again, I was under social obligation to make small talk with my new, surprise, boating companion. Fast forward the canoe trip. At the end, again because of societal rules, I said I enjoyed the trip (she hardly spoke during it…) and if she would like to go see a movie or anything sometime to give me a call. And left it at that. Open ended invitation with no expectation or obligation. I was just being a nice guy.

About two weeks later, my mother answers the phone and looks at me kind of funny and says, “Michella is on the phone for you.”

My immediate response was, “Who?”

Yes, I had no idea who it was that was calling me or why. Once I figured out the who, I still was confused on the why. Michella politely reminded me that I had left an open invitation for an activity which she was now responding to in the affirmative. So I ‘invited’ her to a book signing for an author I was intrigued with at the time, dinner, and a movie. We also ended up chatting at a coffee shop, late before I drove her back to her car. (replace this event with the canoe event… it’s like a weird deja vu, but with more talking). Oh yeah, it was on a Tuesday.

Fast forward again. We started dating, but I was adamant that it was an open ended situation. I was very clear on this since I had no desire, at the time, to become exclusive to anyone for various reasons. Michella was fine with this. Until the day she dumped me. We had dated off and on (more on than off) for over a year and she decided that if I wanted to continue to date other people, she really didn’t mind. And so she dropped me like a hot rock. Which was fine with me. You can ask our best friends. They will tell you how fine we both were about not being a couple. On second thought, don’t. I like my version better.

Me, The Wife, and The Mouse (Winter of 2008)

I soon came to realize that Michella had become the standard by which I was measuring all other potential partners. And everyone else was falling way short. So I did what any self respecting guy would do. After I got done with that, I called her. Asked her if she wanted to catch up at dinner. Just to say hi, see how things were going. Thankfully she did. So we went to dinner. Had a nice conversation. As we were walking to our respective vehicles, I asked her if she wanted it long and flowery or short and sweet. She had no idea what I was talking about. So I told her I had screwed up, missed her and hoped she would give me a second chance. She agreed. She also said we could start dating each other again and see what happened. So we started dating again. On a Tuesday.

A couple weeks later, I laid out my full plan. I explained to Michella that I was going to ask her to marry me and she was going to say yes. I wasn’t going to ask her right then, because I knew she wasn’t ready to say yes, but when she was ready, I would ask her. Fast forward a month or so later. I asked her. She said yes. December 24th, 2006 we got married and she became The Wife. January 20th, 2008 we had a beautiful baby girl (The Mouse). February 14th, 2012 (another Tuesday) and I’m still wondering how I am this blessed.